Where is your awareness when you are having sex? Is it on your partner and their pleasure? On trying to delay or have in orgasm? Are you wondering about your body not being physically appealing to your partner or whether someone might here you? How about becoming aware of the here and now? Tantra teaches us to be present in our experience NOW. How better would your sex life and your life be if you might be fully engaged moment by moment, on the sensations in your sexual organs, to feel them fully. Too feel everything fully?
I just recently had a client that is an aggressive porn watcher. He is so fixated on porn that he doesnt even know what it is that he desires. He feels disconnected from his own pleasure and can only reach orgasm by beating off with deep ideas of a porn scene running through his head. He wants so badly to please a woman but doesnt know where to start and how pull back and let a womans orgasm happen naturally, to him its all fast and furious with no chance to let the moment take him away into his own pleasure which will then allow a woman to find her own. Fortunately for both us I caught on, right away and he trusted me enough to ask me what he was doing right or wrong? Immediatly I asked him " You watch a lot porn, don't you" "YES" he confessed.
Now, I have nothing against porn. But if its not serving you than its time to explore a new path. I am thankful for my clients that want to be enlightened and take responsibility for their own pleasure and make a change. I always tell all my clients. "Bring me all your baggage and we will unpack it" This lovely man has got some tools now, to ween himself off porn as he said he can't even get aroused anymore. He just bounces from one porn clip to another trying to get is dopamamine fix. Its becoming harder for him to find.
This is what I taught him to do.... You can try this and see what if works for you as well.
Orgasm with Intent. When you are in self pleasure or with your partner create an intent for the encounter. Energy flows to intent. Many people think they can't feel the energy field or the energy in their body. I know you can!!! You just havent been taught to feel at that level. Begin by being still in your body and breathe deeply. Imagine a word, a color or a white light of liquid love moving from the top of your head to the bottom of your feet. Follow that feeling with your mind, follow that feeling with your heart, and follow it until it expands outside of your body. It can take practice but it is so worth it espeically when you incorporate into your sex life.
When you can feel your energy you can merge it with your partner to create an amazing blissful experience that takes her or him to levels they never knew were possible. Set an intention for your own pleasure in each encounter.
" I will feel more pleasure in my body than ever before."
"I will breathe into her orgasm with her until she feels all that she can feel."
"I will fantasize about all the ways I want to be desired without porn."
"I will allow my body to take over and show me where it needs to be touched."
Stop and breathe into your pleasure,massage your prostate,touch your nipples, rub between your thighs, use your PC muscles and buld heat. Take the time to build the sexual energy and let it move through your whole body. Don't get discouraged if you feel the need for the visual porn again. Just keep practising you will find your pleasure awareness again. Being present is the most important thing to remember and have complete awareness of what it is and where it is that you need to spend more time loving.
In Love and Light