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Seven Steps to Get More Intimacy in Your Relationship

We all want to be touched in a way that allows us to fully feel our sensations and emotions in a safe and loving space. The slower you go,the more you feel. This exercise is not about leading to or ending in sex, but holding that space for eachother and touching each other in a way that will help reconnect you back to your own sensuality and become fully present in your body to awaken your sexual energy.

This exercise can be done between friends, lovers ,couples,anyone you feel safe with you, can take it as far as you are both comfortable with. Please make sure there is no preconceived ideas of where this might go with no pressure or expectations. This is especially important when your partner is shut down emotionally and sexually with you. If she is numb and cut off from her intimacy with you currently. This is a great way to build the sexual energy back into the relationship and let her come to you when she is ready. As soon as you start doing Tantra believe me, it will be sooner than later. She will be ripping your clothes everytime you walk in the door. 

There will be a variety of emotions come up in this exercise , just allow yourself to feel them as they come to the surface. Breathing in what comes up and breathing out and letting it go. Each partner should be able to hold a space of non judgement no matter what comes up. Try not to bring up anything negative. This is not the time or place. Just breath and let it GO. 

1. Time- Set aside a minimum of 2 hours of time with no distractions. Turn off the TV and Phone. Get a babysitter for your children. You relationship deserves uninterupted time. Put in on your calender as if it is the most important meeting of your week. It should be.

2. Atomosphere- Set up a room in a way that will make eachother feel sensual. Better yet, get a hotel room. No women feels sensual when she's thinking about cleaning.

3. Set the Intention- Set the intention that for atleast two rounds of questions below that there will be no kissing or genital touching. Intend to be fully present with eachother and feel into the touch eachother is giving and receiving.

4. Eye Contact - Start the exercise facing eachother fully clothed looking to eachothers left eye (connecting to your emotions) Sit together breathing in and out in a sychronized breath. Do this for a couple minutes.

5. First person: First question to ask your partner- How would you like me to touch you just for a few minutes?

 - if they say they don't know(and this will come up if they are shut down from intimacy and touch) Ask them to close their eyes and breathe deeply and drop into their heart and then let them be still for a few minutes. Put your left hand on their heart if you are a male and imagine all your love flowing into their heart space. Ask them the question again. You will get a true authentic passionate anwser this time around.

-then perform the touch. Check in with them. Do you want me to do it softer, harder etc. How can I make this more enjoyable for you? Always check in so that your partner is being heard through touch.

6. Second Question you ask your partner- How would you like to touch me for a few minutes? This is about allowing them to take pleasure in touching you, how they want to do so. You don't need to tell them what you would like yet. Just allow your partner to really enojoy everything that they love about your masculinity. Let her revel in the joy of just exploring your body the way she wants too.

Your turn. Now ask your partner to reverse the roles until one of you is begging to be devoured but just let it happen naturally. If your parnter is still shut down ask them if you can do this on a regular basis. Potentially once a week. I promise you. A lot more is going to happen, more than once a week. If you take the intiative to put intimacy back in your relationship the relationship will be more than you ever dreamed was possible.

We all search for true. passionate intimacy to be touched in a away the lights up our world. Only you have the power to decide what you want to change. Change the way you are approaching intimacy and be the hunter for her PREY.

In Love and Light

Kimilla